Project Alicia : The Controversial Wax.

Monday, May 03, 2010

The Controversial Wax.

Bikini, Brazilian, or Bush?

I begrudgingly got the bikini wax several years ago now at the request of my husband. Tense and extremely perturbed… I lied on that table gritting my teeth thinking of what I was going to do to him for making me endure this. With every thrust of that strip ripping hairs from my follicles my anger increased. How dare he- and what has he done for me lately? Nothing that involved this amount of pain, that was for certain.

Then something shifted. I realized I liked it as much as he did. The pain seemed to become more bearable with every appointment.

Then I dumbed into the Brazilian. It was only $10 more and why not. That decision changed my life.

For those of you who may not know what a Brazilian is, it is a slightly painful procedure in which the pubic hair near a woman’s “privates”, “vajayjay, hoohaw, whatever term you deem appropriate here, is removed minus the razor bumps. If you’ve given birth- it’s nothing. Really.

Growing up it was not something we talked about (as in, off limits) and even to this day is not something that is a comfortable topic of discussion in my family, even amongst sisters.

All my siblings and I recently got together for my Dad’s 70th birthday. All four of us girls happened to be in the car together and somehow the conversation shifted to waxing. My sisters were appalled that I get the Brazilian. One mentioned that “the Lord put hair there for a reason and we shouldn’t remove it.” Another was just plain uncomfortable. Another mentioned that it just seemed wrong to have someone get “that up close and personal”. I love you girls, but geesh.

So, first things first.

What is the purpose of that annoying pubic hair anyways? (My research left me less than satisfied.)

Reasons given:

Your pubic hair is meant to make you more attractive to potential mates. Pubic hair traps your smell close to your body, and a huge part of attraction comes from smell (dissemination of pheromones).

[Seriously? Eew. Not buying it. And if that was the case it makes me want to get it all removed and PRONTO.]

Pubic hair is your body's way of providing a dry lubricant to keep the super-sensitive skin down there from getting irritated during sex.

[Hmm… not a problem.]

When you shave your pubic hair, you risk ingrown hairs and nasty red bumps, making the transfer of disease easier via the irritated skin.

[Duh- hence, the reason for waxing. And if you are monogamous, disease is not really a concern, so who cares.]

Pubic hair keeps the genitals warm. The purpose of women's pubic hair could be similar to that of the cilia in the nose, in that it prevents small foreign particles from entering the vagina.

[This theory doesn’t explain a man’s pubic hair. And we wear clothes that keep that area plenty warm and protected.]

Helps to prevent chafing when running.

[Never had that problem. And I’ve never heard of anyone being chafed to death either.]

Have I missed one? Please, by all means, cue me in.

The other comment was in regards to another person getting “that up close and personal”. I just want to point out that if you’ve ever gone to the OBGyn, they see way more of you than any aesthetician ever will. Aestheticians are trained professionals and this is what they do all day long. So, what’s the big deal? Gynos are way more up close and personal and visits are scheduled with them regularly.

I would ultimately love to get lasered, but until then the waxing will suffice. I found a salon that has amazing rates ($30) and a punch card. The 5th one is free. You can’t beat that!

It is especially nice through the summer months when the kids want to be swimming every single day. Who wants to fuss with that daily? Especially when they want to be out the door like 10 minutes ago.

In my opinion, I haven’t found enough evidence to prove that you should NOT do this.

If you are too scared to try the Brazilian, try the Bikini. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

I’m not really into the dying or bedazzling fads. That doesn’t mean it won’t float your boat. I’m more about the clean, cut look.

My aesthetician recently mentioned that she feels sorry for the older women who know no different. You know, the ones poolside hanging out everywhere. The ones that make you do a quick headturn so as to not stare too long.

Don’t be that person. Go visit your local salon today and get down to business.

23 comments:

  1. I am a fan of the wax. Always get it in time for summer...wish I could afford it more frequently! Last year, husband and I had our first getaway in many years and I sort of got the Brazilian by accident. While it was not the most pleasant undertaking [but as you said, not as bad as childbirth], this girl and the husband were very happy with the results.

    I, too, await the day when I can get lasered. I never worry about the aesthetician, either...although I would NEVER want to do that as a job personally!

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  2. I'm all for the bikini wax! I love not having to shave every day during the summer. I'm really prone to ingrown hairs and it's SO NOT attractive when your all red and bumpy. Being in a bathing suit is bad enough without having to worry about red bumps too!

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  3. In theory, I love the idea. I regularly get my eyebrows waxed, but I'm not sure I can survive the pain from the Brazilian. On a scale from 1 to 10, how does the Brazilian compare to an eyebrow wax?

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  4. Miel, I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask because I've never had my brows waxed. I tweeze. I also tweeze nose hairs though and sometimes that seems as painful as the brazilian.

    I honestly don't think the brazilian is much worse than the bikini.

    Anyone else out there who has done both and can give Miel an accurate number??

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  5. Hey that's not how I remember the conversation going? I am one of those sisters and I do not frown upon hair removal....in fact I hate hair and when this baby is out of me I am lasering all sorts of hair off this body!

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  6. I love that you posted this. I however, am a major wimp.. I do what I need to do with a razor. Even if I have to deal with bumps. There is this newer thing I have heard of called sugaring. Have you ever heard of it? My cousin who waxed for years now does sugaring and says that it doesn't even compare to waxing on the pain scale. I may be brave and try that this summer.

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  7. HAHA! My friends and I were JUST talking about this. I LOVE your blog so very much...it is one of the best that I have found in a very long time and I am so proud to be your newest follower ha ha. I laughed my ass off reading this!

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  8. LMBO!
    What an AMAZING read!
    And how "balsy" of you to address a "sensitive" subject!!!
    Tend to thing along your lines with the "geesh'es". :)
    LOVE your wit. :)

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  9. Laughing!!
    haha
    oooh I tried doing my own in a home job once. thoroughly DO NOT RECOMMEND that! there was blood and bruising and a wonky strip left that could not bare to be touched any further...arrggh bad place.
    great post. thanks for the laugh and the info about the purpose of the hair!

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  10. Ha! Widgey found you... she is one funny girl(you should totally visit her). I can't believe she tried a home job!
    I am a total wuss-bucket and would be too chicken to even BLOG about it let alone DO it.
    Very gutsy and informative and FUNNY post. Snort.

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  11. I died when I saw the topic. ROFL. And as a health educator/former nurse there are "warming" benefits for men. They are just not as covered as we are. The pubic hair is supposed to surround the testicles slightly to create a nest. Ok, now everyone is grossed out!

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  12. Shannon, I have never heard of sugaring believe it or not. I'm totally going to be looking into that.

    Widge, I have also tried the home job with similar results. I'm with you-- OUCH. I'm sticking with the professionals.

    S Rizzle, Thanks for sharing. I was hoping for great honest discussion.

    You gals didn't disappoint!

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  13. I can barely handle when my eyebrows get waxed... love the idea & have been wanting to get the nerve up, but dont think I'll ever cross that bridge

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  14. Too funny! I am so glad you post stuff like this! I am not fond of hair either. I shave (without the bumps, thank goodness) but have never been waxed - ever - anywhere. I think I will give it a try someday, but for now the shaving is working for me (and my hubby)! I actually have to go to the gyno today. I was wondering yesterday what all she must see then I quickly got that thought out of my head. ICK!

    Also - on day 2 at work without washing my hair. I tried it Saturday and it went pretty well, but day 3 is really something I have got to work on and is NOT a project to work on during the week ; )!

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  15. So funny. I grew up in the generation of get rid of hair everywhere. I think I was maybe 14 when the conversations started about pubic hair and getting rid of as much of it as possible. hahaha. Isn't that young?? Anyway, I'm all for whatever people wanna do, but do think it's nice to take your partner's wishes into consideration. As for reasons why hair is there-I think I learned once that the hair keeps germs away from the area. Who knows. No one has died from getting rid of hair. So wax away!!!

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  16. ok so I REALLY need to jump on this bandwagon and have not...... maybe if you keep talking me into it I will get brave :)

    Holly

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  17. Haha, this is awesome. I've never waxed, though some of my friends have highly recommended everything from a bikini wax to the full brazilian. I shave everything, pretty much, but summer's coming, and I may have to just bite the bullet and go for it. I'll just bring something to bite down on.

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  18. I got one heck of a laugh out of this article, thanks!

    I've never waxed but if you shave every single -.- annoying day.... it smooths out your skin. Might have to look into this. Thanks!

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  19. I love your honesty Alicia! I've never had a brazilian professionally done, but have waxed myself before. Very tricky. Very painful. lol
    As for the purpose of pubic hair...I've heard an aethetician say that pubic hair directs your urine stream downward, as opposed to it splashing everywhere if you're follicly-challenged. Not sure if I buy this though. Either way, do whatever makes your vajayjay happy! lol
    Thanks for stopping by again. I've added you to my blogroll. I'm loving your blog. Big time.

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

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  20. I think it is SO funny you wrote a post about this! Go Alicia!!!

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  21. Here's my thing with waxing: in grown hairs and wait time between waxes. I grew up in Florida and there was no time to wait to grow the minimum 3/8 inches or whatever it was between waxes.

    Until I get I can go for the laser treatments, I'm sticking to shaving. Call me impatient.

    Wouldn't it be fabulous if they could just dip you in a tank of liquid that permanently removed all hair Forever?! I'd jump in up to my neck...and maybe dip in my upper lip...and put a dab between my eyebrows...
    A girl can dream!

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  22. @Kristi -- as a nurse, I think that urine comment is this funniest thing I've ever heard, as well as completely bogus! :)

    I think I'd like to have it done, but would need a glass or two (or bottle) of wine and a girlfriend for support before I went.

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  23. I have never try wax down there before...all of these times razor and a deodorant stick after works like a charm for me. I would love to get it permanently removed and found a place that does it here using Intense Pulse Light which they 'claimed' to be less expensive than laser.

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