Project Alicia : "You are not becoming."

Monday, May 17, 2010

"You are not becoming."

In light of recent developments in my life I'm forgoing Tasty Tuesdays yet again to bring you the latest sad saga... Because let's be real, who can eat at a time like this? Well, you know "real food" anyways. I only want to cram my face with comfort foods at the moment, preferably the ones that say Little Debbie on the label.

BE FOREWARNED: It's been a day. A less than perfect day in my less than perfect world. And if you are looking for peaches and cream, you've barked up the wrong blog.

Otherwise proceed with caution and feel free to skim. It's a LONG doozy.

So, according to my husband I am "unbecoming" due to a swear word or two that may or may not have slipped out in a moment of extreme anger and frustration today.

Long story short, our short sale really is never ending. As in, FOREVER, infinite, no end in sight…

It was scheduled to be done the 14th of May, which was LAST Friday. And in case you haven’t been following this nightmarish ordeal… this is the second time around. The first one started the end of Aug 2009. Due to incompetent, dishonest people and lots of other things I’d rather not drag up -our last short sale was cancelled. (If ya want some late night reading on short sales, you can go here and read more, mostly venting.)

We started again Mar 14 after the 30 days it took them to get all their ducks in a row (or whatever the heck they were doing). Friday marked the 60 day mark, the amount of time clearly specified for short sale duration by this lender. But alas, it has been extended yet another 30 days because the last underwriter was too “swamped” and now the new one needs an extension.

I’m starting to have deja vu back to the last 6 month run and wondering if at the end of these next 30 days if it will THEN go to the investor, who will most likely STILL have a special 120 day clause and STILL call the packet of material expired.

There are no words to express this situation. And I have lost all confidence in Aurora's ability to complete this task.

We are by definition conservative. You know, the people who have college funds and a 401K, pay all our bills on time, have a 800+ credit score, who never take risks, and by all means don’t buy a house as an investment.

But we did. We took a risk for once in our lives. And never in our wildest dreams would we have foreseen all of this. Hindsight, right? Due to a series of bad decisions by politicians and bankers our economy is in a recession, hanging on by a thread. If you think it is getting better, go tell that to the appraisers in Utah. In the last 9 months we have waited for this short sale to be processed our home has decreased in value another 10%.

Today our buyers walked. There are better homes at better prices right down the road.

So, yes. I may have cursed. Who wouldn’t? These are expressive words that need to be used at times to properly and adequately convey our emotions. Who wants to keep all that bottled up inside anyways? Well, I for one don’t. And I don’t appreciate being judged. So, I'm "unbecoming" today. There are worse things.

I would love nothing more than to be rid of this weight that has been burdening me for way too long. This has been going on for several years now... everything from trying to sell out of state, to lease option flops, to renting nightmares, to refi attempts, to loan modification rejections, to a never ending short sale. And it is not over yet.

Oh no, the fun has just begun. IF Aurora can get their crap together and IF we get the green light THEN and only then can the buyers (and that's another big question mark since ours just walked) start the loan process. This could seriously be another 6 months to a year.

Oh, and we received 6 certified letters in the mail today saying that our home is in default. Not one, but 6. Three were in my name, three in my husband's name. My assumption is that by sending the same letter six times there's no refuting that that was in fact what we signed for. And yes, another big no-no. Don't under ANY circumstances put both you and your spouse's name on mortgage papers because should something go awry there are dire consequences to not one, but BOTH of you.

Oh, and our lender also mentioned that the foreclosure date is set for June 12th. After this agonizing hell they've put us through, I'm all for it. Let's do this thing. If you are tortured long enough, you eventually get to the point that your tear ducts dry up and you are willing to do just about anything to put yourself out of the misery- including ruining your credit. Because by now who cares.

Unfortunately, that is not in our best interest YET. It would be best for both us and the bank to stick this short sale out and they are prepared to postpone the foreclosure as many times as necessary. Heaven knows they are more than capable of pushing dates out further. We've witnessed it first hand. But that is about all they are actually capable of, at least that I've seen.

The only thing that gives me peace is the knowledge that I know in my heart that we have tried to do the responsible thing at every turn. We paid dual mortgages as long as we possibly could until we finally were just out of funds and realized we were too upside down on this house to continue. It was a bottomless money pit. And we would never see a penny of it in return. We have lost so much money now that it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Geez, I could have my dream SUV and then some for what we’ve lost. Or a great college fund for the kids. Or lots of things. Sigh.

Instead we have needless stress and less money in the bank and after today, a good sized headache. But life isn't easy street for everyone. I've decided it really is just one big crap shoot. If we'd have bought our home one year sooner we'd be rolling in the dough. If we'd have picked more reliable tenants maybe things would have gone differently. If we could have found a job and been able to relocate... But woulda, coulda, shoulda. We can't go back and change the decisions we made in our past, however crappy they may seem now.

We can only move forward, extracting the good from them in an attempt to make better, hopefully more informed and less painful ones in the future.

If you made it through this lengthy, extremely depressing post.... thank you. That brightens my day just knowing you care.

And FYI: AURORA LOAN SERVICES suck!! Please do me a favor and tell everyone you know how horrible they are. They have earned quadruple flip offs in my book, but I'm saving that up for my Friday Flip Offs. If you haven't yet experienced them yet, stop back Friday. You should totally join. Nothing like a virtual detox.

34 comments:

  1. Ugh. How frustrating! We are in the process of either selling or renting our home. It's so scary and overwhelming. I can only imagine what this is like for you. I am so sorry. You vent away! It wasn't depressing at all, it just made me want to give you a HUG!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm praying that things get resolved soon. {{hugs}}

    ReplyDelete
  3. Swear all you want! I know I would in this situation. I hope things turn around for you soon and you can get that house monkey off your back!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh man Alicia. I can't even imagine the stress that must putting on your and your husband. I'm thinking of you and sending a virtual bloggy hug your way. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So, so sorry...went through this for over a year!!! SAXON Mortgage Company. So, so, sorry...I know how this feels, and our kids felt it too. The stress at times is unreal. Packing and leaving was also hard. I will be thinking of you....so, so sorry!!!!
    Janette

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Lish...I had no idea all of this was going on for you. I have some friends trying to *purchase* short sales and they have been frustrated on their end too with the length of the process and what a nightmare it is; I can only imagine how agonizing this is as a seller who is just trying to extract themselves quickly without further bloodshed. There has to be a better way.

    I hate hearing stories about folks like you who tried so hard to be financially responsible, do the right thing, pay on 2 mortgages, before being pushed to the last resort - especially when you see other people walking away at the drop of a hat with no conscience about it. Do you ever feel like you should have just walked away at the outset without a care like so many people are doing? I'm just curious. We came very close to being in your exact situation a year ago, and we often talk about how long we could have pushed ourselves before walking away from the house.

    Meantime, we have a once-wealthy friend who bought a $1.5M house in AZ a few years ago that has obviously declined in value by half...so they moved to CA for a job transfer, are scraping together what other $ they have to buy a house there before they walk away on their other house in AZ. So they still get to be homeowners before they screw their credit. And they seem to be doing it without much guilt about not meeting their financial responsibilities...I don't know. I don't get it. I don't know which approach is better. Tough times. I'll be thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am SO sorry you are going through this!! Swear all you want. I would. This is the sad state of our country right now and it is disgusting that so many families are living this nightmare.

    Huge HUGS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Man, Alicia! That IS a tremendous amount of stress to be under. I will be praying for you guys! "Unbecoming" haven't we all been there!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh that sucks. I hope things work out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Swear and then swear some more...and I'm swearing for you too, dammit! I will send prayers and hugs your way. Selling a home is a pain under regular circumstances, and this just sounds like a nightmare.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Swear, get some news paper and rip it to shreds, Jump, stomp, run, scream. No judging here.

    I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband and I have scratched our heads and pulled hair out over the thoughts of greedy bankers. Its nauseating that responsible people are suffering at the hands of jerks.

    Please keep us posted. Hope you have a better day. Take advantage of Little Debbie. She can be a good friend at times like these.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a crappy day Lish. That sucks! You know what though, you're entitled to cuss during times like those. Get as angry as you want! Your life is being turned upside down because of the red tape and lack of professionalism with the short sale. You're entitled to lose your religion. You're only human.
    Again, I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Wish I could help. :( Try to have a good day. Oh and if you need to cuss, you can cuss all you want to me. lol

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh girl, when it rains it pours doesn't it? Hoping this getter better for y'all soon. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love the idea for your Friday flip-off's. I'll mos' def' be joining in for that. Sounds hella monstrous what you are going through. Gives a whole new glimpse into house flips. Not like what you see on TLC! We've been thinking about doing it in Tronto....second thinking that now, reading your post. Strength be with you girl! And a couple swers...not becoming? WEll dang son! Being HUMAN, and having HUMAN reactions to the SHIT life can throw at you is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  15. In a word or two....that sucks. I'm sorry you are going through such a frustrating ordeal. As far as unbecoming? I would say NOT. I'm a girl who doesn't swear but once in a while, it's warranted. Swear away, my friend. Swear away. Oh, and turn to Little Debbie too. She can be a wonderful companion. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hang in there and saying a curse word here and there is a lot more becoming than punching people in the face.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry that you are having to go through this! Nothing wrong with a few well placed curse words.
    Hope things get better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I read the whole thing. And curse words shmurse words. Last time I checked Haldan didn't have super pristine language. How frustrating and upsetting this must be. It's hard to understand why things happen the way they do. Supposedly things happen for a reason, but these things seem pointless. The fear of having a poor credit score can be gripping. But the world doesn't end with a bad one. Or a less than perfect one. It just doesn't. Hang in there. Know that many people are thinking of you and praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Popping over to share some love! Sounds like you handled a whole lot better than I would have! Go ahead and say those curse words if it makes you feel better! I'll throw the F bomb out for you right now!

    ReplyDelete
  20. So sorry for what you're going through. I can't even imagine how you feel. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow. I'm very sorry. I don't know what to say. And, really, there isn't anything I can say or do to make it better. I just hope it gets resolved soon.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I feel frustrated and agitated just reading this. This sounds so horrible. I have to tell you I'd be saying all sorts of unbecoming words right now. Sometimes it's all we can do.

    ReplyDelete
  23. What a frustrating time for you. The housing market is really awful. We may be in a position soon to sell our house too. Not looking forward to that. Thank you for being responsible. I do understand what it feels to be responsible, and do the right thing when you know others are not...and they get a way with it. What goes around, comes around sooner or later. Hang in there and keep writing. It lets of steam.

    ReplyDelete
  24. What a miserable situation. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

    No judgment on the cursing from me. As long as you don't let anything slip in front of Turtle. He repeats EVERYTHING!

    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wow....you have every right to use words that might be un-becoming!! This whole situation is un-becoming, and I am a new reader! So sorry you are going through all of this.

    So, I will add some for you....
    $#%^@&*$#

    ReplyDelete
  26. hop on over to my blog for a bloggy award. http://punkrockmomma.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am so sorry. So sorry. Every time I hear these stories I get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. And I hear these stories every day. It is something I thought I'd never see in my lifetime. The financial wizards can put whatever label they want on it by studying their stock markets and interest rates, but all they have to do is look around. Look down every street, around every corner, look at the families suffering at the homes lost, at the lives turned upside down. We are in a depression and it is affecting everyone.

    You are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh. My heart just hurt to read this. How stressful. I would say a few (or perhaps a few hundred) unbecoming words myself if this happened to me! Will pray for you tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am so sorry you are going through this! Our house value tanked as well... We have looked into short selling, but it just won't "work" for us :( So instead we are stuck in a town we hate, my husband's commute is FOREVER, and the schools here stink! I hope your house sells QUICKLY!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am so sorry for you as well. I stopped over from WW and seen the title & decided to read. Unfortunately you are not alone. I shudder when ever I think of all the people losing jobs, homes, Lifes! what are our leaders doing to this country? My son bought a house on short sale in January, they did not know for sure they "had" it for almost a year! with great credit & job... they have come across a few surprise problems, not unlike many a home... so it is bad both ways.. I hope you can out from under this burden soon. I am stuck in a home that is way to big in house & yard for myself & hubby to handle (both disabled), but no body is looking. good luck & blessing to you. and I agree , this is a good time to use profanities! Faythe @GMT

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm new here, having popped over for WW, but wanted to let you know, that yes, I read your story to the end. My heart goes out to you. We've been through home selling and buying chaos a few times. I pray that you're able to get something worked out successfully and quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm new here too. I'm also unbecoming sometimes, lol. We also have investment property that we're sitting on. It's on the market with no end in site. It sucks. It's frustrating. It's not a short sale yet. I feel your pain and just wanted to let you know that everything you wrote is absolutely correct and I agree and am in the same boat (almost).

    I wish you the very best!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Being as I have never owned a home, I can't imagine what you are going through emotionally. I cuss like a sailor, and I know that it isn't the most lady like behavior. Sometimes, the situation calls for an f-bomb or two. I think you reacted as any normal woman would. I'm sending some good energy your way.

    ReplyDelete
  34. glad I found your blog! Very cute....

    http://toohipchics.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete