Merry Christmas!

I have been struggling this year. Struggling to be happy. Struggling to be content with the imperfections and loss of direction at this stage of my life. Struggling to defy norms and expectations. Struggling to accept myself. Struggling to be.

Compounded with the big and small things of life... some days it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. It felt as if I was in a thick fog with heavy lead weights at times.

I've been here, but mostly just going through the motions.

Christmas seemed a chore. A burden even. One more thing...

That is until a few nights ago. It must have been nearly 1 AM and I couldn't sleep. I turned on the tv and watched the end of this cheesy Christmas lifetime flick.

As hubs snored next to me I wept. And wept.

It took a cheesy lifetime movie to remind me of the fragility of the human spirit. And that Christmas is not just about the shopping and wrapping and wall to wall calendar of events. It is about love. And hope. And having a charitable heart.

Thank you Tanya (from Life in 3Ds) for sharing your Season of Mindfulness. Yet another great message.

May you all have a beautiful Christmas shared with your loved ones as you celebrate the real reason for the season.


Thanks for sticking by me through the smiles and the tears as I've worked through my beautiful mess.


  1. Merry Christmas. Glad to hear that your year is ending on a hopeful note.

  2. Merry Christmas to you and the family, Alicia. :) So happy to see things are looking brighter these days.

  3. the picture of you is absolutely gorgeous. Merry christmas, love.

  4. Merry Christmas to you too!

  5. Merry Christmas, my beautiful and talented friend! There's a new year just around the corner....seize it!

    Gorgeous picture, BTW!

  6. Merry Christmas Lish!

  7. I always pause when I want to do a personal post... It's where I started but I definitely veered away from doing them very often.
    I identify with your journey as it seems to mirror my own and I am so glad to have found this connection with a kindred spirit.
    Merry Christmas Lish.
    BEEEYOOOTIFUL pic of you ;)

  8. Merry Christmas Alicia. May this new year bring a sense of peace and renewal.

  9. Merry Christmas my dear, sweet friend. May peace, love and happiness reside forever in your heart today and always. Merry Christmas.

  10. Love you. Merriest of Christmases

  11. Merry Christmas!

    My wish for you this year, is that you realize what talent, love, and inspiration you are to others.

    You really just don't know...

    Merry Christmas!!

  12. Merry Christmas!
    Yep, I've had one of those Christmas'es ('s?)
    oh well....where nothing seemed exactly right.
    This year was great....we had less gifts since our kids are grown and we put the emphasis back on the real reason for the season. Less is more
    and more can be less. Merry CHRISTmas!
    David/ Tropical Texana/ Houston
    And I agree with another writer above are very talented.

  13. Alicia is seems as if you and I were in very similar "places" this holiday season. Trying desperately to work through it and make sense of it all.

    Here's to 2011! A new year with endless possibilities.

  14. Merry Christmas, Alicia! Lots of Love from the sisterhood of smiles :)

  15. Alicia, Ifelt the same way this year! And my kids told me every day how excited they are for Christmas to come. And that they can´t wait... Every time I´ve heard them saying that,I got more scared. I didn´t have this Christmas feeling. But it went well and we had a beautiful time together as a family. Merry Christmas to you! The photo of you is very beautiful! You are great woman and I love the way you write!
    Much Love,

  16. GORGEOUS. Like a beautiful (not mess!) Christmas butterly!

  17. Sorry I am late, but Merry Christmas! Hope you had a good one. I really wish that people would understand that it isn't about presents, etc.

  18. Merry Christmas!! I'm glad that you found your moment. I had to find mine too, repeatedly, due to the never failing "ex" drama with GC. We had a fabulous Christmas in the end.

    Your picture is beautiful too.

  19. Thank you for sharing this. It is a wonderful reminder.

    And the photo of you...perfectly describes how I feel.

    God bless you.

  20. Ahhh I love that cheesy flick too. It gave me some much needed Christmas Spirit last week... and reminded me what all the fuss is about.
    I hope you had a wonderful warm 'n' fuzzy christmas day my lovely freind.

  21. LOVE that photo of you outside, rejoicing! 2011 WILL be a good year, Alicia!