Photo Diary: Hair Experiment

Today I want to talk about a subject matter dear to my heart... because let's face it- HAIR is a womans most prized possession, second only to- um, maybe her children.

Some woman seem to have it made. They have easy to manage hair that is blown dry and styled in the amount of time it takes me to shower. If that sounds like you, this post might not be for you. You can skip out now.

If not, read on.

I, on the other hand, have been cursed with coarse unruly hair that seems to have a mind all it's own. After each child my hair became more curly, but not all over. I can't help but wonder if it would suddenly go straight again with another pregnancy or magically become evenly curly. That is my biggest challenge... it is not evenly anything! It's straight in the front and the sides and the very top layer and varies from mild to kinky curls throughout the back. I've been told, "hormones" repeatedly- but whatever it is, it SUCKS.

What's a girl to do? I for one don't have extra hours that I want to be spending on my hair everyday, not to mention the damage all those products and tools can do.

I have just recently grown my hair out after almost 15 years of having it anything from a short to mid bob. Although there are more options with longer hair, I'm struggling to find the right styles for me and most importantly, ones that I am capable of doing. My sisters all have long hair and have for as long as I can remember. They can use that chi like it's an extension of their own hand and end up with perfectly flowing curls (which is a blog tutorial all it's own). The hot stick- the latest, greatest must have is their new favorite. I haven't tried that yet, but not so sure I have the patience required for good results. It also requires some mad $$$.

I've been undergoing an experiment over the last couple weeks to see just how long I could go without WASHING my hair. Yes, you heard it right.

If you are grossed out or can't relate on any level... STOP now.

My mother has stories of going at least a week before they would pump the water from the well and boil it for their bath.

Nothing that drastic here, we do have running water- just a busy mom trying to get the most out of a day.

Not to mention that my stylist is convinced that everyone should go at least 2 or 3 days without washing so that natural oils aren't stripped from your hair.

This experiment was more about the hair than the photos. It was all I could do to remember to take them. Most of them were taken by my 10 year old son or with my point and shoot with horrible lighting.

I actually made it to day 4 twice, but didn't get photos either day.



I learned a few things along the way...
There are a few MUSTS to make this possible.

1. A great dry shampoo. I use Rockaholic Dirty Secret. Bumble and Bumble or Klorane are other good ones. I've also used powder or baking soda in a pinch.

2. A shower cap. Nothing fancy required, just something to cover the hair while showering. I use the cheap pack you can get at any drugstore. A friend of mine uses Target sacks. Or you could opt for the fancy-shmancy spa caps. Google it, you'll be amazed at the variety available.

3. Accessories. You need to invest in a few cute hats and headbands to make days 3 and 4 doable. I found a cute hat recently at The Buckle (last photo, day 3) and a super cute headband at Aerie. I'm sure you have way more options where you live, but the accessories are key to making it at least 3 days.

4. Less Sweating. You can still workout, but I have found that sweating complicates the plan. Luckily I don't sweat much and I only do cardio one day/week right now. You may have to alter your workouts to make them less intense or play around with the schedule a bit.

5. Products. Products really make all the difference. I love the Pureology line. I'm currently using the purple hydrate shampoo and conditioner, superstraight, and shinemax. I sometimes use bedhead masterpiece shine spray to finish, but not often. The trick is to use most of your products on day 1, but not the other days. I usually only use a tiny bit of the shinemax on day 2 and rarely anything on day 3.

Hair is tricky business. There are hundreds upon hundreds of styling tools and products out there and you have to figure out which ones work best for you and then PRACTICE. You have to be flexible, willing to take risks, and able to use some imagination at times.

I'm so glad I did this. I proved to myself that it is indeed possible. And should we have another disaster, such as the flood of 08, and are without water again... I can survive and I won't look like I haven't showered in a week.

So, to close I have a few questions to throw out there.


What kind of hair do you have?

Have you found a styling tool that works better for you than another? If so, tell us what it is and why you love it.

Do you have a favorite product that you can't live without?

Do you wash your hair daily and somehow made it this far only to find yourself feeling grossed out?

Or do you wash every 2 or 3 days and have other tricks of the trade that you want to share?

Divulge.

What the Crap?

Do we have some strange odor that attracts birds?

Do we reek of death over here?

Do we look like the grim reaper?

These are the questions that first popped in my head when I found not one, but two dead birds in our entry.

Yep. Totally sick. Maybe not as sick as that hawk devouring the squirrel yesterday.

But still pretty yucky... lying there belly up with their (larger than I expected) talons just frozen in midair. Eew.



Then after hearing at least another dozen pings on our windows from unsuspecting birds… I did what I do best.

I googled it.

And there it was in black and white.

And then I felt oh so bad.

One hundred million to one billion birds die each year due to collisions with human-built structures across North America alone. It is the reflective and transparent characteristics of glass that make windows invisible killers. Birds see the tree reflected in a window, or the plant behind the window, not the glass itself. To stop these collisions one must make glass visible to birds. (To learn more about ways to prevent this go here.)

Ok, so they’re not the smartest species.

Even so, my kind heart is laden with grief that I didn’t respond sooner to those loud pings.

Maybe there was little I could have done right then to prevent their untimely deaths, but I could have tried.

And I did nothing.

Wordless Wednesday: The Circle of Life

Did you know?

Did you know that if your BMI is less than 19, you will be cold and probably shiver after eating?

WHY?
When you eat, the work of digestion sends blood to the stomach away from your extremities. If you are underweight with a BMI of less than 19, you might feel changes in body temperature more acutely because you lack a layer of insulating fat and muscle.

REMEDIES?
If that’s the case, increase your calorie intake to reach the adequate weight range, BMI 19 -24.9, and you should feel less cold. If you are not underweight, then consult your doctor for an assessment. Low thyroid function slows the metabolism and lowers body temperature, but the symptom is not limited to mealtimes.

Isn't it strange that you can be so in the dark about a small piece of trivia your entire life?

My current BMI is 17.6 and now that I am aware of this strange phenomenon that happens I am strangely relieved; happy to finally have a clear reason for shivering uncontrollably after mealtimes. Brooke, I thought of you after reading your fb status update about being cold at restaurants.

If you are not sure what your BMI is, you can use this BMI calculator.

Update: This post was not intended to offend or make anyone feel bad. It was simply meant as an informational entry. My friend told me this morning that bigger people sweat all the time and that they would give anything to be thin and cold. I think of this as a curse, as I seem to be cold 24/7 and hate it. I guess all I can say is that the grass always looks greener on the other side, but it really isn't. Perhaps it's all in our perspective and we need to learn to be happy with who we are and accept the quirks as well as the blessings.

Honest Scrap

Not sure quite what to say. This new found blog world is strange and wonderful all the same. I have made some amazing connections with women that I have never even met. The blogosphere is a tangled web of amazing late night reads... such witty, talented housewives out there. Who needs books?

Melissa from Me: Daily is one of my favorites. Articulate, witty, and honest. So, I feel honored to be receiving this award from her, only wish it didn't entail my having to exert any more effort on my part. It is indeed a peculiar sort of award.

Although I'm not sure there's much more I can tell you about myself that you don't already know... I've been rackin my brain and this is what I could come up with in a pinch.

10 Alicia quirks:
1. BMI: 17.6

2. Shiver even when it's 60 degrees outside. You can probably imagine how much I love -30 degrees In Iowa.

3. Almost always wear shades or impels under clothes, even in the summer.

4. Papparazi-like skills according to loved ones.

5. Went on a crispy bacon quest in Europe and came up empty.

6. Currently doing a hair experiment to see how long I can go without washing my hair. So far 4 days max.

7. Corn is the topping of choice with my mashed potatoes.

8. Heaven help the person who defiles my birthday with anything other than an angel food cake with white fluffy icing- they cannot be penetant enough.

9. Prefer almost all vegetables raw to cooked.

10. I recently paid my son $41 of my own hard earned money to get rid of his guinea pigs. I just couldn't take the stench any longer!


And now it is my privilege to pass this on to 3 other deserving recipients. This is who comes to mind when I think of HONEST BLOGGING...

Anna Lisa of Tales from Olympia is indeed one of the most honest bloggers I know. She begrudgingly joined the blog world recently and shares very poignant, insightful posts about life as a new mom and wife.

Gigi of five amazing minutes is also an honest blogger. Her Friday Flip Offs are Fantastic. Pop over for a good vent. "sometimes it's good. sometimes it's bad. sometimes it's just ugly. stories that will vex, amuse, inspire and annoy you" pretty much says it all.

Birdie of Soldier's Lady made me laugh so hard tonight my son thought I was crying. She missed her call in life. I don't know what she's going to school for, but it should be writing.

Ladies, do with this what you wish. I think I've sent you all awards before. What can I say? You are still my favorites!

Week 16 {365} The Evolution of Motherhood

Every single day we take a breath we are one day older, I get it… but I don’t have to like it.

My kids are growing by leaps and bounds. They have both shot up at least a foot in the last year. Nothing in their drawers seem to fit anymore and I have an empty wallet to prove it. They each have an entire new wardrobe and we had to get Pokey a new bike so her feet didn’t drag. And although I’m happy they are growing in inches (especially Little Man- he had me worried there for a bit when his feet didn’t grow for like 2 years), I’m having a really hard time as they take those giant independent strides forward.

One of their first words is mama. They cling to you like no one else. You can't get anything done to save your life. They want to be held 24-7. You leave their sight for a second and their whole world crumbles as they begin fits of screaming until they can be safely reunited with you again. I remember anxiously waiting for the age I could drop them at nursery; counting down the days to get a couple hour break only to realize that they weren't ready to part with me yet... They wake up and want to be with you. They love to snuggle. Your name is like a broken record. When they start school they want you there at every opportunity. You're cool and they're proud to show you off to their friends. They like you. (Read more here.)

Then one day everything changes. They dress themselves, they make their own breakfast, they walk themselves to school, public displays of affection are off limits, and it appears you have been traded in for snotty nosed little brats who are more cool.

This week I have observed milestones in my children’s lives. Not the life altering kind, but rather the kind that make them need you less. I find myself tightening my grip just as they are loosening theirs; a last-ditch effort to hold onto what once was.

Thursday marked one of those said milestones. I had to take a shower for work and it was day one for me, as in wash hair, shave, exfoliate, and lotion day. I lost track of the time and when I opened the door I realized it was nine o’clock and Pokey needed to be at school in 5 minutes. Little Man was already at school for intramurals. In a panicked state I yelled Pokey’s name only to realize she was nowhere to be found. After searching the house over I realized she must have already left. She does read time and has walked herself to school before, she just hadn’t told me she was leaving. I assumed that must have been what happened and felt a twinge of concern mixed with a little guilt, so I decided that I would stop by the school just to make sure she made it ok. I was finishing up a few things around the house when I found this…

I got a lump in my throat and tears started welling up instantly. It was all I could do to not cry. Call me what you will- that is not just any note, not to me. That note marks a pivotal turning point in my daughter’s life… the day she suddenly realized that she was a big girl. AND SHE LEFT ME A NOTE! How responsible is that? She didn’t really need me- and all because I needed to shave my legs. I suppose it is an inevitability, but I would have preferred to hold off on that one a while longer. I went to the school anyhow, you know- just to make sure. She was mortified that I was there and even more so that I wanted a hug. I got the head flip, eye rolling, “MOM!” (As in, you-are-so-not-cool.)

Man, I miss my babies. Those sweet little kissable, lovable pockets of chubs nestled up with you for hours on end… back in the day when I could do no wrong and I was their entire world.

*Sigh*

Motherhood: That feeling of tingly warmness after 10 months and 25 hours of pain blood and suffering.

This definition makes me chuckle just a little (love urban dictionary), mostly because it is oh so true (particularly with the first one). It also serves as a reminder of the road I have traveled.

Motherhood is really the epitome of the agony and the ecstasy. There is nothing more difficult or more rewarding that you will ever experience in this life.

There is no other job on this earth that teaches humility, long suffering, patience, self-control, perseverance, charity, and unconditional love quite like the job of mother.

Some of our weekly highlights include:

The kids riding their bikes to school for the first time.
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Pokey advancing to basic 3 ice skating.


Little Man scoring some goals, showing us his fancy footwork, assertiveness, and love of the game. (He's still got it.)

Pokey shedding her baby teeth for her new found bugs bunny grin. (Check out that diastema- can you say BRACES?)

Pokey declaring her new fashion sense. (Yikes! Note to self: pick your battles wisely.)


Scoring some rare cuddle time thanks to some fruity mentos.

And Little Man doing his first load of laundry this week. Then blurting, "Hey mom, did you know that coral spawn and are territorial and will eat each other?"

Wow. The answer, of course, was "no". They never cease to amaze me!

They are growing up way too fast and as hard as I try I can't seem to slow it down.

My children may not need me quite as much as they once did and I may not be the center of their universe like I once was, but I am still their mother. And although my role seems to be dissolving before my eyes, I will continue to forge forward as they assert their independence and transition into the next phase of their life… the hormonal prebuscent years. Bring it on!!

Technical Difficulties

Please bare with me... I am experiencing technical difficulties- the kind that make you want to poke your eyes out while screaming &/or crying and then take a hammer to your computer right before you throw it out the window.

Yes, it is one of those kinds of technical difficulties. I spent hours trying to resuscitate my desktop last night to the wee hours of the morning to the point of sheer exhaustion. At about 2AM I realized that perhaps the inevitable had finally occurred. I have been thinking it was on the fritz for over a year now and somehow it made it through my entire daily project 365. Really, it's a miracle.

I do have a laptop, but it's just not the same as my desktop for my picture/scrapbooking projects. My laptop is fine for some things, but ever since I got it a couple years ago it seems to be possessed. It will randomly freeze or open 50 pages at will and tries my patience perhaps even more than my children. It's just not the best match for the delicate art of photo manipulation or- well, anything.

So, you have a glimpse of why my desktop is so important to me. Not to mention that I am still not really ready for Photoshop Elements 7. I knew that when my desktop went so would my Elements 2. (Cue sad music now.)

See, I love my Elements 2. It may not be as fancy as the current versions or do rounded corners or masks, but I know it like the back of my hand and we have a special bond.

It is indeed a sad day for me.

And not only that, in an attempt to repair dying computer last week my husband, who perhaps is equally challenged technologically, installed some new anti-virus program and who knows what else. For the life of me I can't figure out what is going on, but I can't even open Microsoft word. All attempts end in strange fatal error messages, to which the only fix is to push that round, only as a last resort, power button.

So, now my new mission is to try to figure out how to extract all of my important documents, my journal entries, my favorite fonts, photos, etc from our dead computer.

Wish me luck. I'm hoping we don't have to call in the professionals. I'm already seeing lots of dollar signs in my not so distant future to replace this hunk of junk, and the last thing I need is to have to pay to have someone come in to help.

My anxiety level is on high right now as I think about how much of my life is stuck inside that computer. How the heck did we manage pre-computer days?

ah-choo!

Today I have allergies on the brain... mostly because of all the sniffling, coughing, and sneezing ALL. DAY. LONG. Ah-choo.

Curse you pollen!!

All of the beautiful parts of spring bring with them the dreaded allergens that torment so many...

Is it my imagination or does it seem like more and more people have allergies all the time?

I've heard so often how people who never had allergies as a kid will all of a sudden be stricken out of the blue as an adult. This is true of both myself and my husband. His symptoms developed just recently and he seems to have a more acute case than me. He is often so miserable that he can barely see to drive. He also had such a horrible cough for weeks from all the drainage that he got himself a good old fashioned sinus infection.

Unfortunately it is not limited to just us, as my children are also plagued with allergies. Little Man seems to have both spring and fall. He has suffered with allergy induced asthma several years now. Pokey has more spring allergies.

So, with allergens in abundance and so many miserable people around me my mind has been busy trying to get to the bottom of all those unanswered questions.

Why is it that I didn't have allergies as a kid, but my kids do? Are allergens worse than they once were? And if so why? Why are some cursed with more allergies than others? Why do so many people have allergies today? Or are there just more people complaining about them?

It appears everything from genetics to cleanliness to poor air quality to global warming to more hardy varieties of pollens all contribute to the increase in allergens and the numbers afflicted today- so they say.

It certainly is confusing and very conflictual.

We are told to wash our hands and sanitize often to avoid germs and disease and yet it is also a contributing factor in allergies. As a kid I never washed my hands. I'm pretty positive hand sanitizer wasn't invented yet. Kids 30 years ago were exposed to way more germs than children today. Our immune systems were stronger and we had more natural immunity to allergens. We were also better able to fight off allergens because we didn't kill off all the good guys that help our immune system. In an attempt to have a more sterile environment we are lowering our resistance and doing damage to our bodies. Thus, contributing further to the allergy epidemic.

What about our environment? Experts say poor air pollution is also a contributing factor in allergies. We are too clean, but our air is too dirty. Diesel fumes, increased ozone (a main component of smog), particle pollution (nitrates, sulfates), dust, dirt, soot, tobacco smoke, and carbon monoxide all contribute to allergies and can in turn cause asthma. (kidshealth.org)

So, by simply breathing and washing our hands we are making ourselves sick! Pretty ironic, don't ya think?

There are so many different types of allergies out there... foods, pets, molds, dust, latex, cosmetics, drugs, to name a few. They are so abundant. How can one escape them all?

So, are we supposed to just medicate ourselves to death in the hope of getting marginal relief with frustrating side effects? I for one would rather endure the symptoms of allergies than the side effects of the meds, but that may not be the case for you.

In my attempt to feel better I've found some alternative treatments that seem to be helping. My Mom would be so proud.

I recently purchased the neti pot. Although pouring salt water in your face may seem like one of the most uncomfortable and unnatural things, it has brought much relief to me and put a stop to my incessant sinus infections.

I also keep an air purifier in my bedroom. The filters are costly, but worth every penny if it means not waking up with puffy eyes and a fluid filled head about to implode every morning.

Other more difficult, but doable solutions might include: limiting outdoor activities during high pollen peak times, keeping windows shut in the car and at home, removing/washing clothing immediately after exposure to allergens (such as pollen and pet dander), washing bedding often, eating omega-3s (cold-water fish, walnuts and flax seed oil, etc), and using stinging nettle as an antihistamine alternative. (motherearthnews.com) You can find other natural supplements here.

I am not a naturalist, but think that some of these treatments are a Godsend.

It is not clear to me why some individuals are plagued with allergies and others aren't. I realize that heredity and our immune systems play a part. Preventing exposure in early life is another clue. Although there are reports out there to the contrary.

I've also heard people complain that they didn't have allergies until they moved to a new area, possibly triggering a new immune response.

It is my opinion that some places just simply have more allergens, whether it be attributed to wind or pollution or traffic. Who knows. My mother used to theorize that the chemicals they sprayed on the cornfields were picked up by the wind and blown in our direction.

My mind has a tendency to go off on these wild tangents and then ends up exhausted and unsatisfied, but I am tired and I'm not convinced that there are concrete answers for all of my questions. I think this topic would make a great research paper, as there are hundreds of different allergens and so many different theories out there.

Any thoughts? Are you or your loved ones plagued with allergies? Do you have any amazing insights or epiphanies regarding these nasty little buggers, known as allergens?

Clichéd Midlife Crisis?

I’ve been in hibernation, at least trying.

The problem is I’m not a bear and this is not an acceptable form of existence among humans, so I’m learning.

They want to know what you’ve been up to and why you haven’t been around. Not to mention that life still goes on. Regardless of whether you want to or not, you can’t climb under the covers and sleep for months- like bears or chipmunks. Lunches, field trips, soccer, ice skating, clean socks… none of these just happen on their own. The life of a wife and mother is laden with tasks and obstacles that make hibernation impossible, as hard as you may try.

Hence, the reason I have taken refuge in the cyber world. I can have space and be cerebral and withdrawn and still have amazing connections outside of these 4 walls. It is a match made in heaven, at least for now.

Thanks for bearing with me. I haven’t felt much like myself and have used lots of fillers to mask my inner turmoil. It’s so much easier sometimes to pretend that all is well.

Truth is, it’s not. But for the life of me I can’t figure out what exactly is wrong. I’m just not my old self and not sure when I’m coming back. Or if the old me ever will.

At one point in my life I remember exuding such excitement I could barely contain it. When you’re young and are just starting down that road of life you are filled with such hope and anticipation… college, marriage, first home, the birth of your children, parenthood, job promotions, etc. Sure, there are setbacks, but there is also much to look forward to as you forge your way through your 20s.

Fast forward to late 30s.

I still feel 20, but when I look in the mirror my face doesn’t seem to match how I feel. Who is that person looking back at me? And where have the years gone? What have I done to show for my life?

I’m not sure exactly when it happened- perhaps it was just such a gradual process I didn’t really notice- but one day I realized that things that once brought joy and happiness had lost their allure. I seem to have misplaced my zeal for life.

And now I’m on pause in this strange place trying to figure out who I am and how I got here. Nothing seems to make since. I feel so out of control of my life as I attempt to come to terms with the harsh realities of adulthood. I was under the false assumption that if I followed the rules and did everything I was told that I would have a happily ever after.

Turns out it’s not enough to just be a good person. This has in turn made me question every decision I have made to this point in my life including my religion, as I realize that so many choices I’ve made have been out of obligations and fear. It’s a strange place to be when you become aware that everything that you’ve thought to be true your entire life may in fact not be.

So, I’ve retreated inside myself. I’m tuning out the world and listening to only the voice I hear in my head in an attempt to find myself again, whoever that person is.

It has been a vitally important wakeup call for me. I do not want to live in this state of unhappiness forever. So, I’ve been making tough choices and learning more about me and what exactly makes me tick, trying to reconnect with that lost child within.

And hopefully I will come out of it a better person than I was before.

Wordless Wednesday: a chest bump gone wrong

my five minutes of fame

First of all, I'd like to thank Kelli of 3 boys and a dog who extended an invitation to be a guest blogger on her website today.

Peek Inside The Files of a Born Organizer!

For those of you who are just starting to follow my blog I should let you know that I am an avid, sterotypical, type A, anal organizer. As a kid when other children were outdoors playing I was inside organizing shoes and sorting papers. Ok, so I wasn't your average child. Some may say "weird", I'd like to think of it as "special" or something more along those lines.

I am mostly a SAHM, but also work outside the home 2-3 days a week part time for a marketing company. I've been married 17 1/2 years and have 2 children, ages 8 and 10, and although I'd like to say every square inch of my home is martha stewart picture perfect, I've had to relax some just for sanity's sake (because unlike martha, I don't have a full time staff). I still have an incredible passion for order and most everything has its place. Anyone who knows me would say I have an organized home. I just have incredibly high, unrealistic standards that have also had to come down a notch or two with kids. Purge sessions for clothing, toys, and school papers are as regular as the changing of the seasons. The kids are always part of that process. My hope is that, by working with me now, they will acquire all the tools necessary to not become hoarders and to appreciate an organized, tidy space- hopefully of their own someday.

Spring is not just a time of new buds and young hatchlings, it is a time of fresh starts, clean slates, and yes, deep cleaning.

Take a minute and evaluate your surroundings. Is it a place of order or chaos? How does it make you feel? Some people do not require order to function at an optimal level, others do. If you are one of them, don't be overwhelmed with the notion of o-r-g-a-n-i-z-a-t-i-o-n. Embrace it... one step at a time. Start small. Dump out a drawer or a container. If you haven't used it in the last few months you probably don't need it and definitely won't miss it. It's amazing how cleansing and therapeutic a good purge can be, at least for me.

Good luck on all your spring cleaning ventures! Let me know how it goes. If you have questions, feel free to leave a comment or email me at lish@mchsi.com.

H2O Challenge

I'm joining in with Sailor and Company in their raw(e) challenge. You should too! Or just stop over and check them out.

This week's theme is WATER. I instantly thought of this photo from my project 365 last year and decided to revive it.

Organizing Tips: Real Simple To-Do Lists

New, free iPhone app helps you organize your to-dos like never before.

What you'll get:

Access to 30+ popular Real Simple checklists, which you can customize.

An easy solution for creating your own to-do lists from scratch.

The novel ability to make your to-dos someone else's problem by delegating them.

Download it now


Something you may or may not know about me-- I live for lists!

I make lists of my lists.

And when I saw this new app for my iphone I about wet myself from sheer, unadulterated, giddy joy.

If you want to be more organized and own an iphone, what are you waiting for? This is for YOU!

FYI: I downloaded it directly on my iphone.

(http://www.realsimple.com/)

Thanks SITStah!

I was going to post a morose post when I received an email from my new found friend Gigi at five amazing minutes. I guess that other one will have to wait. (I much prefer to think of things that make me happy rather than depressed.) She sent me the Happy 101 award.


Here are the rules of the award:
1. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
2. List who gave the award to you and use a link to her/his blog (or hyperlink).
3. List 10 things that make you happy.
4. Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know about the award.

10 things that make me happy...
1. good hair days, mostly because they are so rare

2. upcoming summer adventures

3. afternoon thunderstorms

4. shopping target sales, especially the 75% off ones

5. dvr time without kids, currently Glee

6. a deep clean/purge session

7. the beach, the surf, and the sun

8. surviving a killer workout

9. greasy popcorn and cherry coke accompanied by a chick flick

10. random acts of kindness (given and received)

And now I’m passing this on to…
Liz from a bell, a bean, and a chicago dog. I enjoy your blog and your discussions over at SITS. It's been fun getting to know you better through the blog world.

Sarah from the common thread. I recently found your blog and love your writing style. Witty and amusing.

The Heartbeat of New York continues...

I received more pics from our girl's trip to NY. This is a sampling of my favorite photos.

After the trip I received a comment from melissa who actually lives in New York City and had just written a post entitled, "Raising Kids in New York City"... an insightful perspective. You can read it here.

Children + Neighbors = Drama

I am at a wedding dinner when I receive a phone call from a neighbor.

“I hate to interrupt your date, but your son has been tying boys up and locking them in the tree house and telling them they have to remove their pants if they want out. Torture was done away with in this country.”

I apologized profusely and assured her it would never happen again.

I had to excuse myself to the restroom to collect myself.

After dinner I was still angry and it dawned on me. I wasn’t angry because of what she was accusing my kid of. I was angry because I was so quick to agree. I instantly sold my kid out.

How did she know what had happened in our tree house? Her accusations were based on one allegation. There is a window that they could climb out to the deck. My child is also the tiniest of them all. Is he really capable of tying them up and holding them against their will?

Just two weeks ago there were several boys in our front yard and they were tying each other up. I told them to knock it off several times and then had to take the rope away. I am not 100% convinced this was my son’s idea and all were willing participants.

My kids are far from perfect. They make mistakes all the time. I also know that kids will be kids. As an adult I understand this.

I guess my beef is the fact that parents would resort to tattling as a solution. It just seems so middle school to me.

I’m not sure what happened. I was watching them, but didn’t witness the things he was accused of. We questioned Little Man and he denied most of it. We collected as many facts as possible and then took a visit to our neighbor’s house.

I was not prepared for the outcome. Both boys were accusing him of these acts. It was clearly two against one and our son was lying.

Sigh.

Parenting is so exhausting.

And the drama that accompanies it is even more exhausting.

I have a child that is socially broken. He can’t get along with others, is mean and hurtful, makes ridiculous choices, and then lies about them.

What now?

Before I close I just want to thank Gigi from http://fiveamazingminutes.blogspot.com/. Yesterday I read her Friday Flip-offs. Not only did it provide some much needed laughs, it allowed me a forum to release some of my built up angst when I felt I couldn’t on my own blog. I don’t know if I will snag this idea or not, but it’s definitely worth checking it out. Brilliant!

Update (since I first wrote this):
Little Man wrote two letters of apology, one to each boy. He also spent the entire day in a time out at home.

He said he was sorry for being mean, for being a bad friend, and for telling them to pull their pants down.

Noone was tied up.

No pants were actually pulled down. He said that after the other two boys took their shirts off (which was not Little Man's idea).

There is a fine line between making too big a deal of things and making sure that lessons are learned and consequences provided.

I'm not sure where this falls, but I would really like to have a mom break about now. I have way too much other crap on my plate and this is just yet another annoying thing weighing me down.

Week 15 {365} Spring Has Sprung!

Just about the time you just can’t take another minute of winter, those first sprouts make their way through the frozen earth and hope is renewed.

It came early and it appears spring is here to stay. The smell of freshly cut grass, rainy afternoons, and barbeques now fill the air, green has replaced brown, and buds are in bloom as the earth comes back to life.

It is a season of fresh starts, beautiful in every way- well, almost every way.



No, we are not at the beach here. This is our street. The same street Pokey crashed on last week when her tire slid into a pile of sand. The city has said they may get around to removing the sand on our street by July. You may remember the picture of the sand back in January. If not you can go here. The snow is now gone and this is what was left behind. Isn't it lovely?

The other not so pretty part of spring would be this...


Can you say potholes? (snow + cold temps + salt & sand = potholes in abundance)

But, not to worry- there is still plenty to love about spring.









And if you ask me, I'll take the crappy parts of spring over the winter blahs any day. How about you?

The Big Picture

Wouldn't it be great if we could see the big picture? You know, the map of our life laid out ever so neatly before us? I'm not really a big fan of the unknown, not to mention how much easier decision making would be, especially the big ones... Which degree should I seek? Who should I choose as a spouse? How many children should we have? Where should we live that would make us most happy?

Ok, so we all know this is not a possibility, but doesn't it sound great? I often think how much easier it would all be if I could see in that crystal ball and have all the answers.

My husband and I married very young. He was just 18 years old, just out of high school. He had just made some pretty big decisions in his life- the life altering kind, such as not going on a mormon mission, joining the Navy, getting married, and moving to Orlando to start his nuclear career.

So, you can probably imagine what the answer was when I mentioned the word baby. For a guy that is extremely mellow the majority of his life- the look that came over him was anything but. His face said it all and I knew that it was not the right time, at least for him.

I waited another two years and then we made the decision to start trying. I got pregnant almost immediately. I was elated. It was such an exciting and joyous time in our lives, we wanted to share the news with everyone.

At around 14 weeks I started spotting and having some problems that didn't seem normal. We immediately went in to be seen and after an ultrasound it was determined that the baby's heart had stopped beating at 12 weeks.

"We can do a D&C right now" were the first words uttered at the Navy Hospital that day. It had barely even registered and they were already talking about aborting the fetus. To say I was devastated would be an understatement.

Haldan left to go back out to sea almost immediately and I was left to deal with this tremendous loss, alone. It was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced.

All the joy that once was had been replaced with guilt and emptiness. Anything and everything set me off. My realtor stopped by with a baby gift, not knowing what had just happened- I cried for days.

It took a good few months to feel better and at least a year before I felt whole again.

I have often thought back to this trial that I went through. It is a trial that afflicts many, but it didn't make mine seem any less painful in that moment.

I think how I would be a mom to a 16 year old teenager right now, how drastically different the course of our life could have been.

I wonder why this happened and why it took another six years to conceive.

Being removed from it for so long has allowed me a better perspective. While we go through difficult seasons in our lives it's so hard to see the big picture, to gain an appreciation for the purpose of such things.

I guess it's been long enough that I am able to see that, and although it will always be a great loss, it also would have been a great challenge for me. My husband was gone so much those first years in the Navy that I would have been a single parent- and even though lonliness filled my days and I longed for companionship- I don't think that raising a child alone was the answer. Haldan would have missed out on most of the first 6 years of their little life.

I can see a glimpse of the big picture and I now feel peace.

I recently read my sister-in-laws blog about the place they are at in their lives and how depressed she feels. For some reason it made me think of my miscarriage. It also made me think how so many things in life seem so overwhelming and impossible, like you may never get through them...

But you do. You stress over that midterm and final exam, and what relief when it is finally completed and you passed. You worry about the birth of your child and those sleep deprived nights when you think you may go mad, but you don't- and then when you least expect it, they are sleeping through the night. You worry about the milestones and friendships and hardships your children experience, and then one day you realize that they made it over those hurdles and are onto new ones.

Life is filled with obstacles and challenges of all kinds. And although there are times we think we can't even put one foot in front of the other- we do.

I was also reminded that life is filled with "seasons"...

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

a time of war, and a time of peace."

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Wordless Wednesday: a case of the uglies

"Pretending to be normal day after day is exhausting."

Help.

I'm not even sure what I used to do before bed pre-computer days. I was probably much more productive as a human being. My husband is on nights, kids are in bed, and the computer is my company. Unfortunately not the best company tonight, as it's made me rather infuriated and I'm about ready to throw it out the window.

After reading a discussion on dressing up your blog over at SITS and hearing some harsh critiques, I decided it was time to do some upgrades- such a lovely idea to have clickable tabs under my header, don't ya think? It would make for much easier navigation.

So, I've spent the last couple hours attempting to do just that.

Can I scream now?

I could have been watching some tv or lost in dream world by now, instead I am in front of this computer at this late hour trying to wrap my brain around this computer lingo. It sounded so easy in theory. I don't know where it went so wrong.

So, I'm giving up for now and throwing out this plea for help. If you know anything about blogging or web design or feel any degree of sympathy... please throw me a bone, would ya?

Just when I thought I was making headway my computer freaked out and started randomly opening like 50 pages and then shut down. AHHHH!

So, I'm doing what I should have done hours ago... I'm stopping this insanity and finding my way to the comfort of my bed, who has been calling my name for some time now.

Week 14 {365} New York City

Before I begin I thought I should just make it known that this was my first excursion to The Big Apple. I come from Iowa where there are more corn fields and pigs than people, where I can still send homemade cupcakes to school, and where the news is about new puppies or school board meetings. Having said that, I'm sure you can understand my shock and surprise at the things my eyes beheld in the big city. People, crime, and pollution really do fill the streets; an experience sure to stay in my memory bank for some time to come.

The things that made the biggest mark for me...

The sheer amount of walking.
I'm happy to report that I did not end up with any blisters. I opted for my rocket dogs and although they are not really the cutest or the proper shoes for a marathon amount of walking, they did ok. My legs on the other hand were sore in new and unexpected places that I didn't even know could be sore. We stayed in Hotel Beacon on the upper west side and took the subway everywhere. Wow.






You could really lose some weight there if it wasn't for all the yummy food on every corner. Which brings me to the next memorable thing...

Food.
The thing that ate up most of my money (no pun intended) was... yes, Food! We ate at several uppity restaurants where the food was exquisite. I even had a $9 glass of juice at one. Shawna says it was worth every penny. Not so sure, but an experience. We also had a connoli in Little Italy, a hot dog on Union Square, New York style pizza, a lots of good sandwiches- they have great cafes and delis. We never did get that cupcake. We just ran out of time.





(this photo is of Little Italy)

Chinatown Shawna style
My sisters tell me everyone does Chinatown this way, but if you've ever watched "Taken" it all was too reminiscent of that movie for me. There were these big black guys or Chinese men that stood on the corners with walkie talkies holding large white or black bags. Inside were the treasures... Oakley sunglasses, Prada handbags, Tiffany jewelry. If we were interested they would radio their counterpart who would meet us at a location and take us to the secret stash. At one point we were taken through this wall down a fight of stairs to a basement that could very well be on "Hoarders". From there we were taken down a skinny hallway to this small room holding all the name brand handbags. A man came out of nowhere right behind me and scared me half to death. It was definitely an experience I wanted to be part of, but didn't share in my sister's calm amusement. I'm still not sure if these were pirated or stolen, but both illegal all the same. Several times cops would show up to bust them on the street and they would take off running.



Central Park.
Exquisite. Not enough time spent there.





Wicked.
Second time seeing it. We had super crappy seats, but it was worth every penny. Still gave me chills. If you haven't yet seen it, you must!



Ground Zero.
There is new contruction going on at Ground Zero and it is impossible to really see anything. They have relocated everything that was on the wall to the Trinity church across the street. It is the new shrine.



Times Square.
Day or Night- amazing. It's something that you really can't capture with a photo, but here's a glimpse.





Statue of Liberty.
We ended up just taking the Staton Island Ferry, so didn't get up close and personal- but still breathtaking. It was a cool, very windy day so pics were hard.









Crazies
This is what I call all those wackos on the street... the guy disrobing and masturbating outside the subway, the naked cowboy on Times Square, the Obama condom.com promotor, the incredible hulk looking guy, the white afro hair woman, the man threatening another in the subway, a nun accosting my sister, the list goes on and on. I actually can't imagine raising a child there. I was too afraid to take a photo of most of them. Here's a few I did get...



Other Highlights
Empire State Building at night with long lines and large gusts of wind (don't have those pics yet), Soho shopping, Grinich Village, Century 21 (Yikes), Financial District, M&M Factory, the toy store from Home Alone, etc.

This was definitely a Barnes style 4 day getaway. They sure do know how to pack it in- No rest for the weary! Shop til you drop!!

These were some of my favorite pics, although I must admit I didn't take as many as I normally do. I was on strike from photos for a couple hours day 2. My husband tells me I am a photo nazi and that it's difficult to have your picture taken all the time. That may be so, but it is also difficult to lug it around, so I've been doing some thinking and have decided I may not take my SLR on my next trip. Less whining and more free hands. Maybe I should only pull it out for paying customers who actually want to get their photo taken. Enjoy these, there may not be so many next time. (If I get the other photos I'll post them later along with my weekly scrapbook page for P365.)

I'm tired and my husband is wanting my full undivided attention.

Oh yeah, baby!

Thanks so much to Soldier's Lady for this honor today. (Does it help that we are related? Hmm...) Nonetheless, love it all the same!

Check her out at http://www.soldierslady.blogspot.com/. She's got a charm all her own and her stories are good for lots of laughs, even when she's in a funk.

"The rules for said award are to thank the bestower (check) and list seven things about yourself."

Here's 7 little known facts about me (that you may or may not already know):

1. Secret GUILTY pleasures: lifetime movies, salt and vinegar chips, cherry coke, and of course- blogging

2. Am an anal list maker and organizer, however I hoard digital photos. I should be in digital photos anonymous. (Admitting is the first step to change.)

3. Stoked that I made it over the 20 follower hump! Thanks girls!!

4. I once passed out at a NKOTB concert and was trampled and thrown (who knows how many times) and came to in an ambulance with ice down my pants. True story. Have never been to another concert since.

5. I no longer have a coccyx. It turns out it's not that important.

6. Just started taking yoga, but also love body pump.

7. I'm going to be in New York City tomorrow for some girl time. Can't wait!

Now, I'd like to present this beautiful blogger award to...

1) Anna Lisa http://www.annalisainoly.blogspot.com/

2) Hun Duddle Hussy http://www.hunduddlehussy.com/

3) Sarah B. http://theblamiresbunch.blogspot.com/

4) Lynette http://www.iowahodsons.blogspot.com/

5) Lisa http://www.jarbofamily.blogspot.com/

6) Mandy http://mandydouglass.blogspot.com/

7) Shannon http://greenmonkeytales.blogspot.com/

(Now you ladies get to share 7 things about yourselves on your own blog!)

Wow, decisions, decisions... that was so incredibly hard. Some of these blogs I've been following for years. Some are hilarious, witty, beautiful, touching. They are all so different how can you decide on just 7.

I've recently started following many other blogs that I adore. Not to worry you could be next!

I just love how the blog world gives me an outlet and allows me to reach out and develop friendships with people I may otherwise never know- amazing, talented individuals! I appreciate all the wonderful comments and support, especially today. Thanks!!

Damaged Goods.

I’ve been wallowing in self pity.

After visiting the gastroenterologist and the dermatologist I’ve concluded that I am merely damaged goods. And I’m ready to trade in this body, preferably for a younger model.

Aging sucks. There I said it.

So, several years ago now I had to have a couple pre-cancerous moles removed. One was caught right before it became melanoma. The other, a suspicious looking one that was removed as a precautionary measure. That pesky mole was in the worst possibly location and hurt like the dickens for months and it took a good full year to heal.

What I thought would be just an annual checkup turned into something much more today as I laid there in my birthday suit, the magnifying glass pressing against every square inch of my skin. The tone changed from routine to serious in minutes.

“You have had a stage 4 something or other (can’t remember the term) and we need to be more aggressive.” Before I left the office I had to have 2 more moles removed for a grand total of $378. The more serious ones are scheduled for next week. Then more to follow. Thank the Lord for insurance.

They are mysterious moles, as they appear out of nowhere for no apparent reason and turn into demon marks almost immediately. You know, the kind that have to be cut out of your body. Before long I'll have a road map of scars.

You might be thinking I’ve had a life of excessive sun exposure, which is definitely not the case. As a child I was a hermit. I never left the house. Good thing too because those were pre-sunscreen days when moms sent their kids out to be scorched.

There have been a couple winters where S.A.D. has gotten the best of me and my doctor encouraged some sun therapy. On those long sunless stretches I did expose my body to some damaging UVA radiation.

I’ve been beating myself up trying to determine if this is the sole reason for my curse. But my dermatologist assured me that friction and heredity both definitely play a part. So, thanks Dad for this fair German skin.

I asked if there was some magic pill I could take to make them stop appearing or if there was some way to make them go away without leaving giant holes. No and no.

Magic cures do not exist and therefore, I must take them as they come and try to do everything in my power to prevent anymore. And to let my voice be heard.

Do you know the ABCs of moles?

Asymmetry

Asymmetry can be assessed by comparing one half of the growth to the other half to determine if the halves are equal in size. Unequal or asymmetric moles are suspicious.

Border

If the mole's border is irregular, notched, scalloped, or indistinct, it is more likely to be cancerous (or precancerous) and is thus suspicious.

Color

Variation of color (e.g., more than one color or shade) within a mole is a suspicious finding. Different shades of browns, blues, reds, whites, and blacks are all concerning.

Diameter

Any mole that has a diameter larger than a pencil's eraser in size (> 6 mm) should be considered suspicious.

Elevation

If a mole is elevated, or raised from of the skin, it should be considered suspicious.


Make sure to get checked annually! If you haven't yet, don't wait.

Unfortunately my skin is not my only challenge I’m dealing with. My visit to the gastro specialists sent my head spinning… tests and more tests and a scope? I’ll know more next week. Wish me luck on my joyous week ahead filled with not so pleasant procedures.

I know I should be counting my lucky stars I don’t have cancer and that I have good doctors that take care of me. I know I have much to be thankful for and that there are so many worse things I could be dealing with, but for now I’m going to go back to my wallowing- ‘cause I’m not done yet.

NY can’t come soon enough.

Let's talk vitamins.

So, these are the vitamins I've been attempting to take...

Did you check out the size of those buggers? They are HUMONGOUS! (as in extraordinarily large.)

When I was a kid I couldn't swallow pills. Period. It didn't matter the size. They just wouldn't go down. I tried all the tricks and it would still be on my tongue when the drink was gone. Then I would usually dissolve half of it before it came catapulting out of my mouth.

I've tried a lot of vitamins over the years trying to find the fountain of youth, and although this isn't it... it does give me energy and helps a bit with my digestive issues.

Now if I could only get them to go down. I'm not talking about swallowing. I've overcome that for the most part. I mean all the way down. The taste lingers and it is repulsive! I've taken to drinking them down with Slimfast or Naked, just to mask the smell and horrific taste. Plus it seems to help them go down easier.

What I can't figure out is how to get them past my throat. They seem to lodge there and then you have vitamin flavored burps like all day long. It's disgusting. Really.

And there's nothing quite like vitamin pee... great stuff. It does, however, keep husband from lingering in the bathroom too long.

I would like to say that I get all the nutrients required in my diet alone, however, I'm not a pot smoker and can't say that with a clear conscience. I'm a crappy eater overall. I need help.

So, my friends, I ask- am I doing something wrong? Why is it so dang nasty?

And if you've found something better please do share. I'm willing to keep a secret.

Week 13 {365} Easter Traditions Old & New

Our Easter week in photos... Enjoy.

















If I had to describe our week in 10 words or less it'd be: fun, busy, family oriented, holiday filled, memorable, perfectly imperfect week.



Coming up: 4 day fun filled girl's trip to New York City. Stay tuned to hear all about our adventures.