Project Alicia : WW: "Hey You"

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

WW: "Hey You"

Photobucket
You always see the beauty in a passing cloud
You're the one who fixes me when I'm down
And you don't think twice, do you?
Photobucket You could find one diamond in a mine
But you're the one who's shining from miles around
And you don't see that, do you?
Photobucket Hey you, it's your turn to
See the beauty in yourself
Just like you tell everyone else
Photobucket Hey you, am I getting through?
If you would only see yourself
The way you see everyone else
Photobucket The way I always see you
I see you, hey you
Photobucket
Hiding in the background
Thinking you're not pretty
Photobucket Holding back your thoughts
Cause who's gonna listen?
Photobucket Hiding behind a half smile
Hey, it's such a pity
Photobucket Everybody's missing out
While you're busy
Holding it all inside, inside
Photobucket Hey you, it's your turn to
See the beauty in yourself
Just like you tell everyone else
Photobucket Hey you, am I getting through?
Photobucket If you would only see yourself
The way you see everyone else
The way I always see you
Photobucket I see you.


Lyrics taken from Miranda Cosgrove's "Hey You"(You may also know her as iCarly.)

I apologize for all the wordage this week. This topic is something that is close to my heart and has struck a cord within me. How does a mother go about raising up confident, self assured individuals who love themselves, particularly when she herself has never learned how? (You can forgo the writing and link your posts below...)

If I could choose just one thing to accomplish before I die, I would throw every ounce of energy I could possibly muster into breaking the cycle of low self esteem in this family. Last April I wrote a piece entitled, "I Am Beautiful", inspired by Jill Samter's Project. My battle with self image has been ongoing since my earliest recollections. This ugly curse often times prevents me from being who I am meant to be. As I agonized over the words for that post, the thought that it could be controversial or misunderstood never once crossed my mind. But regardless of our outward appearance, these feelings are real. I don't need you to tell me I'm beautiful, I need you to let me be me and work through the inner demons that I face on a daily basis.

If we don't teach our children to love themselves now, they may be inflicted with a life of torment, never being able to see themselves for who they truly are. "Young people are like sponges accepting other's assessment of them as fact. Those hidden wounds often never heal and resurrect themselves time and again over the years." (Soul Awakening)

As mothers we want nothing more than to protect our children at all costs. We shelter them from unnecessary afflictions and injustices. We kiss boo-boos, rock them when they're sick, wipe away tears, listen when they have a broken heart... We even go to battle when they've been bullied. But when it comes to teaching self worth, I'm at a loss. If I could I'd shout it from the mountaintops so they knew just how beautiful they are. Because unlike sickness or broken hearts or even bullies (that can hurt for awhile and then be healed), there is no easy mend for a child with low self esteem.

I want my daughter to know that she is beautiful- both inside and out. Her countenance is radiant. Her smile is contagious. Her moxy is admirable (and will serve her well throughout her life). Her thoughtful, sweet nature and ability to laugh is beautiful. And her passion for life is nothing short of inspiring. She is a one-of-a-kind daughter of God with infinite worth! I only hope that one day she sees herself as I do...

This is Wordless Wednesday, but Wordful or Not So Wordless posts are also welcome here. Just grab a photo and link up below. It's a great way to make new friends! Feel free to stop by some of my favs...

and then, she {snapped}The Paper MamaLive and Love...Out Loudseven clown circusBetter in Bulk NapTime MomTog

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87 comments:

  1. gorgeous photos- and such an important message!

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  2. Wonderful post and beautiful photos! Your daughter is a real Beauty!
    xoxo
    Verena

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  3. Gorgeous photos and such a touching post. I will be giving birth to a little girl any day now and I wonder how to instill confidence and love and compassion into her as I remember how hard those pre-teen, teen, and early-20s can be. Any tips?

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  4. Gorgeous, gorgeous photos Lish. You writing really struck me too, as someone who also has issues with self esteem. When I was pregnant with Mikey, before we knew he was going to be a he, I was struck with horror at the thought of raising a little girl for these very reasons. But the feeling didn't go away when we found out he was going to be a boy, and still hasn't to some extent. I ended up with a little boy who is sensitive and easily embarrassed, and it just breaks my heart to think that some day he might feel shame for who he is, or feel that he's not good enough. Ah, I'm rambling on now... they never warn you about this part of motherhood!

    Much love xx

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  5. Love this - I love the one picture of your daughter looking down with the stray of hair wisping across her face... gorgeous.

    I admire what you are doing for your daughter, it is inspiring!

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  6. Hey Lish, this is such a beautiful post, really really. And this is the first time I have seen such a likeness between you and your gorgeous gal. She is like a mini you in these pics...!

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  7. A post with very beautiful photos and an even more beautiful and necessary message for all. I too have dealt with self-esteem issues from my childhood. It is a slow process to turn around, I know, but in time she will. Positive affirmation is crucial at a young age, and your post does that so well. Blessing to both of you!

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  8. these images are STUNNING!!! I love your black and white processing!

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  9. Beautiful post! You've really captured your daughter's beauty in these photos :)

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  10. Your photos are beautiful. A healthy self-esteem is so important, I can relate to your post. Based on what you've said here, you are so conscious, so present in your daughter's life that she must get it and will have it.

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  11. Beautiful shots and such a wonderful message to all!

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  12. Alicia -- What a meaningful post and such gorgeous photo's of your daughter.

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  13. Others already said it, your shots are beautiful. You subject is whimsical. And yes, Moxy is defiantly something that will help her get through life’s tough patches (and allow her to get others through them as well). Happy WW (Wordless or no)!

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  14. Beautiful Post and Photographs! I always thought that being a mom to all boys would make dealing with some of those issues easier. I was wrong. It's just different. I hear things from him like he's not fast enough, big enough, tall enough, or strong enough. I'm doing my best to tell him that he is fearfully and wonderfully made and really hope it's getting through!

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  15. She sounds like she has the beautiful on the inside part down. :) And clearly the outside is taken care of too.

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  16. These are simply put... BEAUTIFUL!

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  17. I had to go back and read about the bully, awful! That is one of my fears for my children in school. As I, hate to admit it, was a bully. Not to that point by any means but I seem to pick on and push some folks around that let me :( Your daughter is amazing! I have been following you for sometime and cherish hearing your words and thoughts about you and your children!

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  18. Oh Alicia, this post is BEAUTIFUL. I totally cried! Your daughter is gorgeous, both inside and out.

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  19. What a beautiful post, Alicia! Thanks for reminding all of us what the most important job is as a parent - to teach your kids to love themselves. If you don't have that, you don't have much.

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  20. Such a beautiful post, and your daughter is gorgeous!

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  21. Beautiful post. It's so hard to be a mother. If only they came with a guide on how to raise them, it would be so much easier.

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  22. This was a lovely post, I hear you on the self esteem, I worry about my daughter all the time. And I love the words to the song. Go Miranda

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  23. Alicia, I know this may sound trite, but there are many folks who are dealing with those same "demons" you talk about here. Unfortunately, I don't have any easy solutions - it is a battle that must be fought, day after day. What makes it (a bit) easier for me is to remember that, regardless of how I feel about myself, God loves me - and He wouldn't love something of little value.

    It sounds (and looks) like you are doing the best you can, and from what you have said you have raised a beautiful child (2 of them, in fact), just keep plugging away. And remember, eventually they turn 25! (Which mine does this year.)

    Happy WW!

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  24. Wow- these are gorgeous! Your daughter is beyond beautiful!!

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  25. Your pictures are beautiful as always, and your words really struck me. Unfortunately, negative self-image is something too many women face, and it starts in childhood. I can see how it was passed from my mom on to me, and I would do anything to keep my kids from ever feeling they aren't perfect the way they are. But how can you convince them?

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  26. this post was truly amazing!!! You are so spot on! And your photos just capture the words so vividly! Thankyou for this reminder! x

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  27. WOW!!! I love these photos and the lyrics. She is soooo gorgeous just like her mama. Beautiful.

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  28. The photos are perfection, but I love the words even more! I doubt my mother ever really considered this question, so you are on the right track! She is lucky to have an amazing role model, and your honesty with her will go a long way. You can teach through your struggles... not just your successes :)

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  29. The photos are fabulous! Lovely post.

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  30. She is so pretty!!! She looks a lot like you. I love the one of her kicking!

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  31. She is so beautiful. I see so much of you in her. I understand your fears but I am positive she will surprise you well beyond your expectations!

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  32. Inspiring post, Alicia! Your words are heartfelt and true for so many. I hope you show this post to your daughter when she is struggling and repeat as needed.

    The photos you took are beautiful and passionate!

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  33. She is simply stunning. And it's not just her outward beauty, you really get a feel for the intelligence behind her eyes. Lovely, thought-provoking post.

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  34. Just beautiful! The whole post!

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  35. I love the second picture of your daughter's eyelashes. She is such a beautiful girl!

    Love the pictures, love the post!

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  36. She is gorgeous and so are you! I love that you're working to brake through the cycle for her sake. If there's one thing a mama can do, is do the almost impossible for our kiddos. Love those babies :)

    xo
    ~Tabitha

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  37. Oh Lish- she is so beautiful. I understand the struggle. If it were not for Jill's project or Elena's selfie Saturdays I never would have dealt w/ my own inner issues. I owe so much to this beautiful group of women we have here.

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  38. Your daughter is certainly beautiful! You are so right- we have to teach our children to love themselves and remember they are beautiful inside and out!

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  39. what a sweet post... and those photos are amazing! she is growing so fast and is a beautiful young lady :)

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  40. This is such a beautiful post - the words, the images of your gorgeous daughter, everything!

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  41. She is indeed beautiful...as is her mother.
    Your words took my breath away. Low self-esteem can be crippling. And it is far too common.

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  42. She is gorgeous...just like her mom. I love the third picture. I love them all but wow, that third picture is just lovely.

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  43. Lovely photos as always. I love all your pictures. & with a mom like you, her self-esteem will win out.

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  44. From one mom to another, you've just written the words I feel everytime I look at my little girl! Thank you for sharing those beautiful pictures of your daughter and the tender sentiments too.
    Cheers,
    Char

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  45. I so enjoyed how you captured the photos and lyrics together, very powerful. Such a perfect intro into this post. I grew up with this- and I am determined to break the cycle but I too am at a loss of how.. I think in the end, it will be your love that will overpower that vicious cycle of low self-esteem. That is all I know to give to my son. All my love-

    big hugs to you!!

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  46. I would say focus the emphasis ought on the fact that what we perceive on the outside is an expression of inner beauty, no artifice needed it just diminishes the glow.

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  47. Gorgeous, gorgeous photos followed by a truly meaningful message. As mothers, this is one of the issues we inevitably have to face with our kids.

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  48. Your photos, as usual, are amazing! This post was very heart felt, a truly important message!

    -Samantha
    KreativeKaring.com

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  49. Beautiful, stunning photos! Beautiful young lady in them...as for your words...the greatest gift we can give someone is to allow them to work through their issues without platitudes and meaningless (to them) words of encouragement. I have lived your pain all my life...there are no answers from me. But I greatly admire your willingness to give it words and put it out for all to see. Most of us suffer in silence, therefore we suffer alone. Kudos for a very meaningful post today!

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  50. Oh Alicia, this is such a beautiful post. I had tears streaming down my face as I read it. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful and your images show not just her outer beauty but her inner beauty. How does a mother teach her daughter(s) their inner beauty, their self worth, their value? Very difficult to do when the world is telling them that beauty and self worth are all about looking a certain way... It's a hard task.

    I wrote something similar back in January as my youngest daughter's lack of self esteem was weighing greatly on my heart...

    http://amothersfaithhopeandlove.blogspot.com.au/2012/01/self-belief.html

    and this too:

    http://amothersfaithhopeandlove.blogspot.com.au/2012/01/multitudes-on-mondays-light-at-end-of.html

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  51. Amen and Amen! The photos so gorgeously illustrated the lyrics. Thanks for sharing your heart. That's not easy either. Blessings to you and yours.

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  52. She is absolutely gorgeous - just like her mama. I'm in the same conundrum with low self-esteem and trying to encourage Princess Nagger to embrace who she is, because she's beautiful on the inside and out.


    Warrior Cat Entrepreneur

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  53. She's exquisite! My daughter is six and like you, I just hope she grows up feeling as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

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  54. What could I say... like mother, like daughter.
    A gorgeous girl and a gorgeous photo series. I rarely come up with courage to publish BW photo versions, but this time it was definitely the right choice.

    Keep up the good work and keep blogging!

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  55. Your post made me cry. I too suffered from low self esteem ... until my early 20's when I met two amazing women who forever changed the way I looked at myself. Dear friends and roommates who I owe a debt of 28 self confident years to!

    And I, too, have a daughter (11) who I'm trying to infuse with confidence in being the most amazing person that she is ...

    ... but girls are mean to each other. And often she comes home in tears ...

    ... and women are terrible to one another ..

    ... and that's where we need to start. Women need to stick together. Girls needs to stick together, not separate and categorize and break apart into groups and cliques ...

    Now if we could figure out a way to break that terrible cycle. We could save our daughters all those terrible years in-between when girls and women are terrible to one another ...

    Linda

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  56. I love this Lish and love the way you put it together! She is beautiful and so are you, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE when you talk about your own demons and how you don't need anyone to tell you you are beautiful, but let you be you. I struggle with this myself. I've never had a lot of confidence when it comes to my appearance. It is only now that I'm starting to grow in that area.

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  57. Lovely post and pictures. So pretty.

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  58. Beautiful post and pictures! From the outside it is easy to look at someone and think they are beautiful and they must have it all together. So when you open up and bare your soul like this, it makes others realize that outward beauty really doesn't necessarily matter. Even gorgeous people have insecurities.

    As the mother of a 13 year old daughter - a mother who is also very insecure and oftentimes uncomfortable in her own skin - I can completely relate with wanting my daughter to never have to feel the way I did and still do. So thank you for this post. It definitely gives me something to think and pray about.

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  59. I'm completely in awe of your photos and your willingness to share your soul! You are very inspirational!

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  60. This is perhaps one of my favorites of your series, and I have appreciated them all.
    I love the black-and-white composition, and how she carries herself in them. Beautiful photos and beautiful young lady!

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  61. these are absolutely breathtaking!! i love the moments you captured with her and she is just a beautiful young lady!!

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  62. Amazing! Beautiful words and beautiful pictures!!

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  63. Oh Alicia! This post is just so beautiful and heartfelt. And yes, your daughter is gorgeous and looks a lot like you. And your talent always astounds me.

    But your message is more important. I have struggled with this all my life too. I think most girls do to a certain extent...and boys too, they just show it differently. My severe anxiety and shyness in childhood provided me with years and years of struggle with depression and culminated with a summer in the hospital battling an eating disorder as I turned 16. I know all too well how serious this issue can be and I have 4 kids of my own who I struggle to set on a path to healthy esteem.

    I wish I had some sage advice or easy answers. The only things I know for sure are that you have to encourage them to make their own choices and let them know you believe in them and trust them to make wise decisions. We can't protect them always as our hearts would like, or we send a message of doubt in their ability. I catch myself in this mistake...wanting to protect them, but knowing they need to do it on their own terms. I also try to walk the fine line between championing their successes and not fawning over them so that every little accomplishment gets a round of applause. They need to be prepared for the real world where they will often be the only ones to notice their small triumphs. Where they will need to do work hard and do the right thing to please themselves rather than reap external rewards. It's the little choices we make each day, the words said or unsaid that shape their view of the world and their place in it. Like you, I often struggle to know the best way to guide them toward the knowledge that they are amazing and capable of amazing things.

    This post is moving and I think that the fact that you see your daughter the way you and love her for who she is the most amazing gift you can give.

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  64. stunning photos - as usual! i wish i had a meadow or forest right outside my house for such an amazing setting. of course the subject is gorgeous too! i can't imagine your struggles. how to get a daughter to feel something you yourself haven't really felt. awareness if half the battle and i'm sure you'll get there!

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  65. These photos seriously took my breath away!

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  66. Gosh, I wish she could see how beautiful she is inside and out. She really is lovely.

    Low self-esteem is such a huge issue. I struggle with it every day. My husband tells me he wishes I could see what he sees...but that he's afraid I'll realize I'm too good for him and run off with someone else. ;)

    I wish poor self image just disappeared once those terrible adolescent years ended. It doesn't. So sad.

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  67. She is blossoming-- I can't believe these pictures!! It's really amazing to see a little girl grow up. I can only imagine how tough it will be to teach self-worth in the tween/teen years. At this point my best guess is as you said it, to remind them of the one-of-a-kind child of God they are. =) Thanks for sharing these beautiful photos-- amazing.

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  68. everything about this post deserves a HUG!!! Happy WW.I hope you'll join us at the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop linky party tomorrow.

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  69. I absolutely loved this post. The words and the photography were so moving, so beautifully weaved together. Just beautiful.

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  70. Beautiful post and amazing photos! I LOVE the light in these and your daughter is stunning. That second photo is exquisite. Thank you for sharing!

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  71. Wow how incredibly beautiful in every way!

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  72. Thank You for participating in Show Your Stuff Blog Hop, You are invited to come back:
    http://juliejewels1.blogspot.com/2012/03/show-your-stuff-13-chocolate-cover.html

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  73. Such great photos! I really like the way you used the lighting in these.

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  74. Fabulous captures, she is so beautiful. My girls love the song "who says" by Selena Gomez. Even at 4 & 6 they are starting to understand the power in the lyrics. :)

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  75. Wow Lish.
    What an amazing post.
    Your girl is so so beautiful.
    Those words of that song, are AWESOME too!
    I didn't know iCarly sang! Maybe I need to download this one.
    As mothers of daughters our task is made so complicated by all the mixed messages out there.
    For our daughters' sake we HAVE to love ourselves.
    I'm certainly working on it; hoping that my girl will see a mother who accepts herself as she is and still dreams big.
    Luv you, inspiring girl!
    xx

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  76. Self-esteem starts with us, the moms. We have to believe we are worthy and model it for our daughters. If we believe it, they will too. We have to change the tape recordings we play in our heads to messages that are strong, confident words. Love yourself every day and your children will love themselves too. When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't criticize your flaws but love every laugh line, every stretch mark because it's what makes you you. Once you embrace and love every flaw, your children will learn to do the same. I promise.

    Thank you for being so brave and bold to share your thoughts. They are so important. xox

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  77. This is such a wonderful post - thank you for sharing. Beautiful images, beautiful thoughts.....
    My little girl is nearing her 3rd birthday, and still just a little poppet - but I already worry about how to pass on all to her that I want, and hope against hope she grows to be a happy, confident woman.
    Thank you again for sharing.

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